Egg #60: The Last Egg

Part of the unnerving beauty of being human is that there is always a last time for every activity. Sometimes we know when it is, like the last day of school, or the last time we walk out of the door of a job we have resigned from. Other times, we don't know. We don't always know the last time we will kiss someone before the relationship ends, or the last time we will see someone before they die an untimely death. Of course, part of this is that we, ourselves, being mortal, do not know the last time we will perform any specific activity. For instance, we do not know the last time we hear the song 'Stormy Weather,' or the last time we will eat a peach. 

With this in mind, write a passage that begins 'Although I did not know it at the time, it was to be the last egg I would ever eat.' 

Egg #59: Eggs, Holes, Bones

In his novel, "Await Your Rely," Dan Chaon writes this passage about a character who has lost a hand and is living in a country where he must learn to speak Spanish:

     The keen sense of loss had faded, and these days he found that he stumbled less and less over that absence. He could dress and even tie his shoes without much trouble. He could make toast and coffee, crack an egg into a skillet, all one-handed, and some days he wouldn't even bother to wear his prosthesis.

    "Eggs" was one of the words that he sometimes stumbled over.

    Huevos? Huecos? Huesos? Eggs, holes, bones.

Write a passage in which a character stumbles over the word 'egg' with other words that sound similar. Use the example of the Spanish, or another language, if you wish. You can even make up a language. The idea is to play with the language a bit and to create parallels that evoke the emotions the character is experiencing.

Egg #58: Gallery Eggs

An art gallery has an exhibit of eggs drawn by a local artist, and it is opening night. Record a few lines of conversation by a couple who attend the show, a few lines between the woman who works at the gallery and a friend of hers, and a few lines that are exchanged between the artist and his or her significant other. This is all about perspective--looking at the same event from a few different viewpoints.

Egg #57 : Death Row Egg

The short story "Last Requests," by Giles Smith, is told from the point of view of a woman who prepares the final meals for prisoners on Death Row. While some of the prisoners have simple requests, such as a meal from McDonald's or a take-out curry, other requests are more specific, such as the inmate who desires "two guinea fowl, wrapped in bacon and roasted, with buttered green beans and mashed celeriac."

Write a last meal request for a prisoner who wants an egg. How does he or she want it prepared? Do they request anything else with the meal? What crime landed the prisoner on Death Row?

Egg #56 : Still Life With Egg and Gin

Write a scene which includes an egg, a bottle of gin, a cigar, a sidewalk hopscotch game, a canary and a cold bean burrito.

Egg #55 : All You Ever Wanted to Know About Eggs

For 10 minutes, write down, without stopping, everything you know about eggs. If it goes off subject, that's okay - the important thing is to just keep writing.

Circle 4 of the things and incorporate them into the conversation of a man on a first date who is so nervous, he can't stop babbling about eggs.

Egg #54 : The Dangerous Egg

Write a brief scene that begins with the line "The egg didn't look dangerous."

Egg #53 : The Work-A-Day Egg

A construction worker takes a hard-boiled egg with him to work. He removes the egg five times from his lunch pail to peel and eat it throughout the day, and each time, he gets interrupted and has to put the egg away again. Describe 5 things the egg has witnessed throughout the day from the egg's point of view, using 2 -3 sentences for each event.

Egg #52: Still Life With Egg and Dominoes

Write a brief scene which incorporates an egg, dominoes, the scent of a clove cigarette burning, a bottle of red wine and a blue shawl.

Egg #51: Egghead

Write a brief scene that begins with the line "You say 'egghead' as if it were a bad thing!"

Egg #50: Martha's Egg Salad

In Louise Erdrich's novel The Beet Queen, there is a character famous for her odd Jell-O mold concoctions. Mary puts all sorts of ingredients into the Jell-O salads, including "walnuts or chopped celery, macaroni, onions, miniature marshmallows, or, worst of all, sliced radishes." There is some tension between Mary and another character in the novel - Dot - regarding Dot's daughter, who is Mary's niece. Dot decides to express her discontent with Mary by making a parody of Mary's salad for an event. She concocts a Jell-O mold full of nuts and bolts and other hardware and tapes Mary's name to the dish.

Write 5 sentences describing the odd egg salads of a character named Martha.

Write 5 more sentences describing a parody egg salad a character named Dorothy creates to get back at Martha for something. 

As a bonus effort, include the issue that is creating tension between the two characters. 

Egg #49: Egg Metaphors & Similes

Practice writing metaphors and similes using eggs as a subject. For instance:

-The egg burst yellow like a drunken sunrise on a gin-soaked Monday in October.

-The rotten egg sat waiting in the carton beside the stove, a shifty bandit ready to ambush the stagecoach at noon.

Write 3 metaphors and 3 similes. Don't worry about it sounding silly--just let go and have some fun and allow your imagination to have free reign.

Egg # 48: Egg Haiku

Writing haiku is a good exercise in practicing using only words that are necessary. Write a haiku involving an egg. It should have 3 lines, with a syllable count of 5 - 7- 5.

Egg # 47: Egg Talk

Record an imaginary conversation that takes place among eggs in a carton inside a refrigerator.

Egg # 46: Still Life With Egg and Clarinet

Write a scene that includes an egg, a clarinet, a beagle, the smell of freshly cut grass and a ringing telephone.

Egg # 45: The Well-Traveled Egg

A man takes a hard-boiled egg with him on a train trip. He removes the egg from the bag he carries it in five times to attempt to peel and eat it, but each time, he gets interrupted and has to put the egg back into the bag. Describe the places the egg had 'seen,' in 2 -3 sentences each, from the egg's point of view.

Egg # 44: Love/Hate Egg

Write a brief scene in which a character explains what he or she loves about eggs. Then write a brief scene in which a character explains what she or he hates about eggs.

Egg # 43: One Egg; Six Words

Choose 6 random words from any book. Use those words along with the word 'egg' in a passage that you write in 5 to 15 minutes.

Egg # 42: Curse or Blessing?

A woman cracks open an egg to discover two yolks. She's excited and happy, because she views two yolks as a blessing. Describe the event in five sentences.

Across town, another woman cracks open an egg to also discover two yolks. She views the event as a curse. Write five sentences describing her experience.

Egg # 41: Still Life With Egg and Beret

Write a scene which includes an egg, a beret, a glass of wine, a French newspaper and the smell of bread baking.

Egg #40: Good Egg/Bad Egg

Perhaps you've heard the expression "C'mon, be a good egg." Or, "Stay away from him. He's a bad egg." Where do these expressions come from? Write a 100 word monologue of a character pondering this. 

Suggested first line:

"Well, good egg or bad egg, an egg is an egg"

Egg #39: Egg Point of View

Describe your residence from the point of view of an egg,  beginning with the interior of your refrigerator.

Egg #38: The Way I See It

Describe an egg from the point of view of:

-a 52 year old male farmer

-a 30-something female vegan activist

-a teenage male stock boy

-a 40-something female store clerk

Write 3 sentences for each one without actually mentioning the age, gender or occupation of the character.

Egg #37: Still Life With Egg and Chihuahua

Write a scene that includes an egg, a chihuahua, a pumpkin, a green garden hose and the scent of lemons.

Egg #36: Fortune Egg

A character finds a fortune slip inside of an egg after cracking it against a skillet. What does the fortune say? List 3 other odd things that happen to this character throughout the day.

Egg #35: Cracked Eggs & Peaches

Start a piece with the line 'It was the summer of cracked eggs and peaches.'

Egg #34: Egg Clothing

A woman sews clothing for hard-boiled eggs to wear. She sets up a table at the flea market every Sunday and sells the items. Describe 3 of the outfits. Describe the woman in 3 sentences. Describe the room where she sews the clothes in 3 sentences. Describe the people at the tables to the left and right of her in 3 sentences each. 

What does she call her business?

Egg # 33: Blue Eggs & Grits

While it may not be 'Green Eggs & Ham,' go ahead and give it a try. Write a little rhyming piece about blue eggs and grits.

Egg # 32: Show & Tell

A child brings an egg to class for Show & Tell. What does he or she say about the egg? What is so special about that particular egg?

Egg # 31: Still Life With Egg and Wrench

Write a scene that includes a hard-boiled egg, a wrench, a plaid cap, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a can of coffee.

Egg # 30: Egg Phobia

Write a monologue in which a character explains his egg phobia. How did it come about? When? How do eggs make him feel?

Egg # 29: The Face in the Egg

One morning, a woman cooks an egg over-easy for her husband. She sets it on the table before him, and he sees a face in the egg. Whose face is it? Does the woman see the face, too?

Egg # 28: Arguing Over Eggs

Two sisters are arguing over eggs. Write out the argument, incorporating these phrases into the dialogue:

- "You couldn't shine your shoes if you tried."

- "I gave those pennies back."

- "Shell. Not smell. Shell."

- "Oh, no. Don't bring up the fish again."

- "You knew it wasn't dead!"

- "Does it look yellow to you?"

Egg # 27: Still Life With Egg and Magic 8-Ball

Write a scene that includes an egg, a Magic 8-Ball, a book of crossword puzzles, two oranges and and old transistor radio.

Egg # 26: The Way She Likes Her Eggs

You can tell a lot from a person by the way he or she likes their eggs prepared. List 10 names. Next to each, list the way he or she likes their eggs. Then, add a word to describe that person. 

For instance:

Valerie. Scrambled. Scattered.

Tom. Hard-boiled. Determined.

Egg # 25: Eggs Every Way

Make a list of every way you know that eggs can be prepared. Scrambled, poached, boiled. Eggs Benedict. Omelets. Etc. Jot a three to five word description beside each to capture the essence of that particular preparation--texture, smell, color.

Egg # 24: Egg Art

An artist creates an installation piece from eggs. Describe the piece, and the process of making it.

Egg #23: Obsessed by Eggs

Describe the kitchen and living room of a woman obsessed by eggs.

Egg #22: More Eggs in Suburbia

Debbie Long lives next door to Colleen McGregor, who keeps the 12 hens in her backyard. Record the conversation Debbie has with her husband Derek as she watches through her kitchen window and observes Colleen tending to the hens and gathering eggs.

Egg #21: Eggs in Suburbia

Colleen McGregor keeps 12 hens in her suburban back yard. Describe her gathering their eggs in the morning.

Egg #20: Egg Lob 4

A newspaper carrier has an egg lobbed at his car at 4 in the morning. What is his reaction?

Egg #19: The Requested Egg

A woman with cancer who is dying requests a 'perfectly poached egg.' Her daughter attempts to make the egg for her. She consults 'Joy of Cooking.' She googles 'how to poach an egg.' Then she goes into the kitchen to prepare the egg. Describe the results.

Egg #18: Barn Cat Hen

A barn cat unexpectedly begins 'nursing' the eggs of a hen who has abandoned her brood. Describe the scene as the farmer opens the door to find the cat lying on the eggs.

Egg #17: Still Life With Egg and Newspaper

Write a scene that contains an egg, a newpaper, a blue ceramic vase, an ice cube and a red tie.

Egg #16: The Resilient Egg

A character cracks an egg against a mixing bowl and empties its contents into the bowl. She turns to take a carton of milk from the fridge, and when she turns around again, the egg has re-assembled itself and is on the counter-top next to the bowl. What is her reaction? What does she do?

Egg #15: Egg Lob 3

A young Ivy League college student has an egg lobbed at his car while driving home from the perfect first date with the girl of his dreams. What is his reaction?

Egg #14: The Egg That Could Not Be Broken

Imagine a woman taking an egg out of the fridge. She goes to break it against the side of the skillet. It will not break. Frustrated, she slams it into the sink. It leaves a dent. She next tries to break the egg with a hammer. No go. Describe the process. What extremes does she go to in an effort to break the egg? How does its inability to be broken effect her?

Egg #13: Modern Day Humpity-Dumpity

You've heard the nursery rhyme about Humpity-Dumpity, the egg who had a great fall and couldn't be put back together again, not even by all the king's horses and all the king's men. So, write a modern version of this tale. What could befall a man so badly that nothing could put him back together? What has the capacity to break a man, in other words. Loss of money? Loss of power? Did he get caught embezzling and sent to prison? Did he return home one day to find the love of his life packed up and gone? And who are the king's horses and the king's men who try to put him back together again? Therapists? Attorneys? Doctors? Friends? Who tries to help him put his life together again?

Egg #12: How Many Ways Are There to Break an Egg?

So? How many? Think about this for a second and then make a list. I can tell you two for starters: One is to break it against the side of a metal mixing bowl. Two is to throw it out the window at the tree trunk outside your apartment. Other ways? Try to think of at least ten. Once you get going, you'll be surprised at how many ways there are to break an egg.

Egg #11: Still Life With Egg and Piccolo

Write a scene that includes an egg, a piccolo, a small white dog, a pair of black dress shoes and the Ace of Diamonds.

Egg #10: How'd That Egg Get Here?

Take a few minutes to do a google search about the origin of the egg. You might want to try search terms like 'Origin of the Egg' or 'Where Do Eggs Come From?' Absorb the information, perhaps jot down some notes. Then write a short piece about a character sitting down to eat an egg which incorporates some of the facts and trivia you have found.

Egg #9: Egg Lob 2

A woman who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer is driving home. Someone lobs an egg at her car. What is her reaction?

Egg #8: You've Got Egg-Mail

A woman arrives home to find an egg in her mailbox. How did it get there? What does she do with it?

Egg #7: A Dozen Broken Eggs

A 56 year old man has just been fired from his job at a bookstore, due to being caught reading books whilst clocked in. He stops at the market on the way home for a six-pack of beer, a bag of Doritos, a package of toilet paper and cat litter. While on his way to the check-out, he sees a carton of broken eggs on the floor in the dairy aisle. What is his response? What does he do?

Egg #6: The Moody Egg

In her short story 'The Easter We Lived in Detroit,' Janet Kauffman uses a hard-boiled egg to evoke the mood of a character:

In the kitchen, I took a blue-painted hard-boiled egg from the refrigerator, poured some milk, and let my eyes travel the walls in the indoor light. It was a greenish, undersea light, very mild. I peeled the egg and sliced it with a steak knife onto a big plate, where the two halves slid together. They arranged themselves, it certainly seemed to me then, as downhearted, pitying eyes. I just whispered, Don't you worry. Not today.

Take an egg - cooked any style - and use it to evoke the mood of a character. In the above passage, the character is missing her daughter, whom she hasn't spoken to in months. What is the emotional landscape of the character you have in mind? How can a simple egg portray the mood of that character?

Egg #5: Still Life With Egg and Suitcase

Write a scene in which an egg, a suitcase, a blue towel, a pair of galoshes, a cigarette and five one dollar coins are featured.

Egg #4: Walking on Eggshells

You may be familiar with the expression 'walking on eggshells.' It is often used to describe the feeling of being around a person whose behavior or personality is prone to sudden and unexpected change. Imagine you are driving through an isolated area of the country. You stop at a local tavern for a drink. When you step inside the door, you see that the entire floor is littered with eggshells. Describe the sensation of walking across those eggshells to take a seat at the bar.

Egg #3: Egg Lob

A married man who is contemplating having an affair with a younger co-worker has an egg lobbed at his car while driving home after work one evening. What thoughts go through his head? 

Egg #2: The Egg Fairy

A young boy wakes to find a hard-boiled egg under his pillow after leaving a tooth for the tooth fairy. What is his response?

Egg #1: Scrambled vs. Over-Easy

A husband eats only scrambled eggs, and his wife eats only over-easy. After 15 years of marriage and recent marital problems, their marriage counselor suggests they try switching egg preferences one morning. Write the conversation the couple has over breakfast.

Coming July 1st